The guy from the Tax Masters commercials has mucho neck beard

I read an online comment where a grown ass man called someone a “libtard.”  Are you fucking kidding me?  This same thread also had someone say “Rethuglican” and “Wackistan.”  I’m gonna take a big toddler waddle here and say this is probably why our country’s political arguments turn into a shot for shot remake of the 4am sex shop arrest episode of Cops.  Debate- it’s a very simple yet broad concept.  It’s beautiful because we can take debate to any extreme and it can be done with humor or stoicism.  Contrary to what you might think, I love debate.  I surround myself with weird fucking people of every political and social leaning; and I’m always looking to add more friends.  Seriously: if you’re a female who was born in Colorado and enjoys being trapped in human showers, call me.  This internet gimmick we call free speech is supposedly untouchable.  Somewhere along the line, however, we forgot that while we have the legal right to say pretty much anything we want, freedom of interpretation allows complete strangers to think we’re basement dwelling fiends.  Any type of discourse, especially revolving around politics has the potential to be submarine d before any point can be taken.  I don’t care what “spectrum” you believe in; the fact that you need to define said spectrum before you define your position is sad to me.  And this is coming from the guy who just last year learned that pickles and cucumbers were the same goddamn thing.

We’ve become lazy and we’re letting the media, politicians and employers of America frame our opinions into 15 second collectible sound bites.  I hate the terms “liberal”, “conservative”, “moderate republican”, etc.  These mean absolutely nothing to me except that I should immediately qualify a “liberal” as pro-life, anti-Iraq war, pro-big government.  Of the thousands of fucking issues in America right now, can ONE term find a cape big enough to be wrapped around its’ all-encompassing shoulders?!  Yet that’s how we approach issues; pouring a gallon of milk into a 8oz coffee mug and then complain about the spill.  All of us are guilty here; sitting around arguing with our parents or friends that WE’RE the smart ones yet when election time comes around we vote for one of two dudes with a tie.  So then what happens?  You end up on CNN.com calling someone a “libtard,” taking sentences out of context and happily plugging people you’ve never met into a ghost matrix of paranoia and anger.  These faceless, mindless zealots we create who oppose our views are rarely devoted to our destruction.  As a matter of fact, I bet if you were accidentally locked in an elevator with them by hour seven you would be contemplating a make out session.  Even if they were a dude and you were worried your beards would crinkling together after an Eskimo kiss.

Jesus, can’t we just have intelligent conversations about the issues at play?  Yes, what I’m advocating takes time and commitment to listen but goddammit the problems we face have no hesitation breaking through our simplistic constructs.  Two parties can’t solve the economy much like two people can’t accurately perform a Colombian necktie.  This whole thing is about as annoying as attractive Werewolves.

~ by leatherjacobs on August 9, 2011.